In love … and learning

Yesterday we spent our first Valentine’s Day together. What an amazing day… ’twas everything I had hoped it would be frankly. Until late last night when things went sour. Evidently our consumption of a bottle of champagne and a bottle of red wine did not prove conducive to a harmonic end to our evening. But such is life sometimes. Sometimes we say things we don’t really ever want to say. Sometimes we allow our insecurities to become larger than the things that truly matter the most. Sometimes .. well most of the time really, alcohol will instigate these things too.

Sometimes, we just cross each other the wrong way. Mostly I cross her I think. I wish I knew why, or how or for what. I suppose it’s just natural really. We are different people to be sure. I guess I just never really anticipated how different and what challenges we would face. That’s not to say I thought we’d be devoid of problems at all, I simply could never have anticipated things as they have occurred; both the wonderful and the not so wonderful.

I do know that when I’ve been at my worst it’s been when I was really drunk. And I was someone I never want to be again – ever. For her.. for us .. I have to commit to never being that person ever again. Never again.

I do know how much I have loved being with her the past five weeks. How spectacular she is. How she has completely transformed my life since I met her. How she has saved me. Truly saved me.

~ by casualnonsense on February 15, 2008.